Child Inclusive Mediation: helping put your children first

It goes without saying, but children are particularly vulnerable to the impact of divorce and separation.
Naturally, children will have concerns about the changes taking place in their family and will have worries about what lies ahead.

Family Mediation is not only a useful process for separating parents, but it’s also a process that children and young people can use too.
This is called Child Inclusive Mediation.

What is Child Inclusive Mediation?

Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) gives children an opportunity to share their worries and concerns with a specially trained mediator, without the pressure of feeling responsible for any decision or feeling that they have to take sides.

This can take place whilst parents are in mediation. Your mediator will talk to you about how your children can contribute, and if you both agree, the mediator will arrange to meet with your children separate from the meetings between you and your ex-partner.

Child Inclusive Mediation can give your children a voice at a really difficult time. Whether your children have strong opinions or not, what is often the case is that a child’s concerns are different from separating parents. So, it can actually help separating parents to make more informed decisions for the future.

Children are never asked to make decisions. Child Inclusive Mediation is about giving children the chance to have their voice and views heard. Only the information the children consent for the mediator to relay back to the parents is fed back to the parents in a feedback session once the direct consultation has taken place.

What are the benefits of Child Inclusive Mediation?

Although parents will still make the decisions, any child meeting with an accredited mediator can often help improve the situation for everybody. There are other benefits too:

It’s completely confidential and meetings are friendly and informal.
The consultation with the children always takes place in person, but the feedback session and mediation sessions following can be carried out online.
You can develop ideas and try out arrangements without being constrained by court orders or statutory involvement, such as local authority or Cafcass.
It’s voluntary – each parent willingly volunteers to take part in mediation.
It can give children clarity about the situation.
Children often find it hard to explain their feelings to their parents for fear of upsetting them. Child Inclusive Mediation can help parents understand their children’s feelings, which without mediation they might never fully know.
It helps develop new methods of communication, helping you to see the whole picture, so you can find better solutions for the whole family.
Accredited mediators can have ideas which will support children through the changes.
It can create better long-standing relationships between children and parents where arrangements are put in place which align with the children’s wishes.

How does Child Inclusive Mediation work?

1. Book a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting

The first step in Child Inclusive Mediation is the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). This meeting lays the foundation for the entire mediation process and help you understand how you can minimise court involvement and come to an amicable resolution. During the MIAM, our experienced mediators will:

Discuss how mediation works
Assess suitability
Discuss next steps

By the end of the MIAM, you’ll have a clear understanding of the mediation process and how it can benefit your family.

2. Consent from both separating parents

We’ll need both parents to agree to the process and to provide their consent to the Child Inclusive Mediation process and for our mediator to consult with the child/children. How consent is provided will be explained during the MIAM and again in the initial meeting with the parents.

3. Child mediation session

Our fully trained Futures Family Mediation mediator listens to understand your child or children’s wishes, ensuring their perspectives contribute to the decision-making process.

It is clearly explained to the children that they will not be asked to make any choices or decisions and that only information they consent for the mediator to relay back to their parents is ever fed back.

4. Move forward with child arrangements and parent agreements

After the consultation with the children and the feedback session with the parents, it is hoped that the parents can come to an agreement that puts children first and allows them to have the best future possible.

Get started with child mediation

Our accredited mediator, Paul Richardson is specially trained to meet with your children. He can offer child consultation, speaking with your child or children separately in order to listen to their wishes and feelings.

Book a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) today. Email us at paul.richardson@futuresmediation.co.uk or call on 0115 648 2378 or 07745 144 815.